Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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