i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
