The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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