I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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