Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
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