So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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