you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Your cock deserves a montage
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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