awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
