You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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