i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
