So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
