I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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