just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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