i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
50% drunk capacity currently
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
