Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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