you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
