Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
