yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
