I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
