we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
