Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
