At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
