His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
