i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
