I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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