Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
