Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
