Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
third nipple confirmed
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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