I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
