hotel room ftw
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
