In the future we'll all be gay
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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