forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
