Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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