I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
