brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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