I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
