It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
