so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
