Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
