it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
