Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
