Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
