Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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