I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
