I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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