we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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