I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
