perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize