I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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