I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
